Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts

This just about sums up what we really know...

Posted on 5/23/2013by with No comments

I found this quote and thought it really sums up what we think we know, or what we believe we know, or even those things we know we know nothing about but feel free to have an opinion.  It has clarified my thinking for today, because I know he's speaking the truth!!

Repeat after me...

Posted on 10/17/2008by with No comments
I wonder if the guy has a mask on -- or did the elephant eat someone in a biohazard suit?


Repeat after me...

'I WILL NOT complain about my job, EVER AGAIN!!'




Confessions of a Blogoholic...

Posted on 4/07/2007by with 5 comments
Hello, I'm Arnie and I'm a Blogoholic. It's been about 15 seconds since I last looked at a blog, maybe 2 minutes since my last read, and an hour since I commented.

My story is very similar to others I've heard today. I was introduced to Blogs by a friend. He mentioned that He had found this great blog and sent me a link. I read it, thought it was alright, but after reading it, I just went back to learning about open source, reading my emails, and playing a another game of Doom. But, you know, I couldn't get the thought of the blog out of my mind.

So, the next day, I went out searching for more stuff. Searching for all the edgy blogs, you know, the ones about Bigfoot and UFOs - then I started reading about news articles, tech stuff, money, family, almost anything I wanted. I found out that there were so many blogs - so many different topics - you could loose yourself for days.

Then one day I really did it. I started my own blog. Now, I can't stop. I spend hours reading, writing, surfing, commenting, joining social networks. I can't turn on my computer, or check my email without thinking of something to blog about. And I wonder what others are blogging about out there right now, are they going to blog about what I want to blog about? It's madness.

Is there any help? Or am I doomed?

I'm a blogoholic and that's my story.

(please feel free to share your story....)

What's the worst job in the world?

Posted on 3/19/2007by with 2 comments
OK, we all from time to time believe we have the worst job in the world. But my friend The Coach has found evidence of some of the worst jobs in the world. After reviewing his post, I've come to the conclusion that my job is absolutely fabulous (which of course I kinda knew before hand).

Commentary: you have to go check out the pictures here, my personal favorite is the first one - the bored look on his face (but I bet there are few seconds of pure terror during his job). Go check it out - it will brighten your day.

http://www.cantcoachthat.com/index.php/site/so_you_think_your_job_sucks/

New Math for a New World

Posted on 3/03/2007by with 3 comments
My hat is off to these students for providing real answers to real math questions. Oh, I know, there are math geniuses that will feel slighted by the answers, but on the other hand, this stuff is really funny.

It also provides insights into how various minds work. You've got to love someone that when face with a "problem" and they don't know the answer, will provide either the most obvious answer or a very creative answer to the problem. It also proves there are usually more than one "right" answer to any question.

[note: click on the graphic if you can't read it]



proton





ramp





findX





expand





curve





cat

Your not as dumb as you think....

Posted on 1/31/2007by with No comments
The name of this blog is Critical Assumptions, we make them everyday (some smaller, some bigger), the following is a list of very poor assumptions made by those around us - just thought I'd share. The important thing to remember about assumptions, they may be wrong.

1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
Police in Oakland, CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."

3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???
An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

4. THE GETAWAY!
A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

5. DID I SAY THAT???
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot", the man shouted, "that's not what I said!".

6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING???
A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart". "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"

7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!
In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo)!

8. THE GRAND FINALE!!!
Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.
NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE, Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!

That knock on your virtual door could be the IRS....

Posted on 1/25/2007by with No comments
Hypothetically speaking, let's say I've got about two cents to my name in the real world, but I'm the Donald Trump of Second Life. Question: How does the IRS (our Federal Government) get their cut of my action. Although there is no answer today, our leaders (and leaders in other countries) are trying to figure this one out.

http://secondlife.reuters.com/stories/2006/10/15/us-congress-launchs-probe-into-virtual-economies/

Stupid Questions - and why I hate them....

Posted on 10/31/2006by with No comments
There is one thing you can't avoid in life and that's getting asked stupid questions (I mean the ones people think are legitimate questions, and you are supposed to answer). I was asked on the other day about "how many 'thingies' can a 'thingie' administrator administer?" Now, because I work for Meglacorp, I don't want to say exactly what the 'thingie' was, but believe me, in this instance, it doesn't matter, because they could have asked the following....

How much wood can a woodchuck chuck, when a woodchuck woodchucks wood?
or....
Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, if Peter Piper picked a peck
pickled peppers, then how many peppers did Peter Piper pick?

In reality, it's the same question. I hate these questions, because there is NO ANSWER!!! Or a better explanation would be -- you have not given enough information to answer the question, therefore, there is no answer.

It's a dumb answer, so my answer was 23 (which was just as enlightened as the question and just as dumb).

Web 2.0 in a poem....

Posted on 10/25/2006by with No comments
An auto generated poem at http://what.was.the.question.whyblog.org/buzz/

Feeds.

Faster. Faster! Splog is an aggregate noun. It's the wave of tomorrow. The new is old. The words aren't what they were. Roll your own roll-your-own. It's all about community. Hack it. Label what defies categorization. We shall transcend borders. You need someone who gets it. Clear that. The buzz is loud and clear. An AJAX-driven GUI. This is newer media. Out of the box. Clustering. Single. Word. Sentences! Dynamic inline updating with yellow fades! This will change everything. Taggable folksonomies. Float this. Give the users what they want. Always be launching. Cry out, blogosphere! On-demand streams. News clouds. 2.0 is the new New. It's all changing. With one click. Podcasts. MSM just doesn't get it. "ASL" is geezer speak. We're about what Web 2.0 is about. We are on the brink of a new age. Social is the new push. 2.0!

When a cliche comes true....

Posted on 10/19/2006by with No comments
OK, I tell my kids all the time to "stop that or someone's going to get hurt". I've said it a thousand times and heard it probably a million times while growing up (or the other one "someone's going to get their eye put out"). Well last weekend it came true, luckily, no one was seriously injured.

Here's the deal, right now I'm away from my family during the week and there have been times (probably more often than not), that when I get home, I like to relax. (Some would call it being lazy). But last weekend, there was nothing to do -- so, to liven things up, I started wrestling with my oldest son, then my youngest son got into the mix. They were jumping on me, I was throwing them off - basically good clean fun. Then it happened - during one "body slams from the bed" moves, my youngest bounced off me and slammed his face into the base of the bed. I heard it - swaack - a moment of silence, then a loud, blood curdling scream.

Now, a little back ground, my youngest son is the one that has had stitches and emergency room visits - he is the one most likely to think jumping from the house to the pool is a good idea. So, when this scene unraveled last weekend, I assumed his nose would be broken and end with another trip to the emergency room.

Here's the scene right after the scream started....
Exit Right - oldest son, covering his ears almost in tears himself
Enter Right - Wife, with look of concern, questioning me about what happened
On the floor - youngest son, holding his face and doing the loud crying, while trying to catch his breath
On the floor - ME, wondering what to do, and knowing if there's blood, I'll probably faint.

Luckily, no broken nose, no stitches, no emergency room visit. But there was a severe tongue lashing by my wife - and as you can imagine, the phrase "why'd you do that" and "didn't you know someone would get hurt" came out of her mouth at least a dozen times.

But is sure was fun while it lasted.

You just proved my point....

Posted on 10/06/2006by with No comments
You ever have one of those days when everything you do (from getting up in the morning, to going to sleep at night) was completely wrong? When I have those days, they seem to last for ever, and every decision you make just proves how much of an idiot you really are.

Well, thank goodness, we now have the internet to help alleviate those feelings - having a day, and wondering if you're the only idiot in the world (your not, all you have to do is do a little searching to find people got caught and their humiliation is out there for the world to read or see)....

How about singing with those headphones on - ain't iPods great (remember your kids know more about streaming video than you do). This one has been viewed a couple hundred thousand times....


This one - was a featured video on YouTube - the kid just proved my point....



The Real Men of the Internet -- Daddy Bloggers

Posted on 10/05/2006by with 2 comments
There are Fortune 500 CEO's that blog, there are high powered VC's that blog, there are celebrity authors that blog - but no other group is more entertaining, more fun to read, more "spot-on" for topics in my life than Daddy Bloggers!! Now I got turned onto daddy bloggers through my wife (who is a mommy blogger) - and this group of men represent some of the best of the best - Real Men of the Internet (the following are a few I've read along the way).....

MetroDad
This blogging dad let's it fly, with his own brand of comedy and tragedy. He chronicles his life as a both a dad and a husband, living his life in the Big City and watching his little girl grow up before his eyes. Well worth the time.
RudeCactus
If only everyone could "tell their tale" this well. Wife, Kid, and Security Geek - what a life (and blogging too!!). There are times in our lives that we either need to laugh out loud or cry in closet -- read this blog, and you'll find out you're not alone.
Flailing My Arms (aka Jonathan)
Being a Daddy in your 20's much be a trip (I waited til much later in life), although maybe struggling with your life along with kids is not a bad way to go. Check him out.
Zero Boss
(in his own words.....) The Zero Boss started out as a marketing tool to sell my book of the same name. (Yes, that makes me a shameless self-promoter. I’ve learned to embrace my Inner Marketing Whore.) At the time (February 2004), "mommyblogging" was just taking off, and only a handful of dads were writing about their experiences as fathers.
Clare's Dad
(in his own words.....) These are the ramblings of a thirty-something suburban husband and father who probably has nothing new to add the the world of blogs...but is here anyway.
Daddy Daze
(in his own words.....) I blog for several reasons. First off, I'm a geek, so having a website is appealing to me. I'm also a bit narcissistic, like most people are, and blogging serves that urge in me. I also really like the immediacy of blogs. As soon as something of interest happens, be it on an international level or in a person's own everyday life, that information can be made available to anyone who is interested in receiving it.

How to get 884 (corrected - 1100) comments on your blog...

Posted on 7/18/2006by with No comments
Update -- decided that there were probably going to be an increased number of comments - well there were, as of yesterday (7/18/16) over 1100 comments. I did not read them all, in fact, with that many, I didn't read any!!


I've read lots of blogs, some of fairly famous people, but I have never seen a blog entry with 884 comments!! It's uncommon for discussion board threads to have this many entries - even on controversial topics that create firestorms. But this blog entry did it. It did it with simplicity. I wonder if others will follow this pattern (I do doubt it, this entry hasn't).

Go look for yourself.

http://highclearing.com/index.php/archives/2006/04/07/4991
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